Monday, March 24, 2014

HITTING ROCK BOTTOM


I hit it and I hit it hard.  

But as always, there is a positive to every negative. I have no where to go but up now. 

I obviously had to hit the bottom before I could begin to focus and start putting the pieces of my shattered self back together again.  I was under such a dark cloud! The storm was extremely destructive - I became someone desperate... wild... careless... and unrecognizable. Was that really me?

How could hitting the bottom make me feel so much better almost immediately? My mind is clear and focused.  I feel almost happy and that hasn't been the case for quite awhile.

I look back and it seems like it was all a bad dream - a terrible nightmare.  Unfortunately it was all too real. I hurt and worried other people in the process too and for that, I'm truly very, very sorry.

It is time to start taking care of myself and climbing back UP.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Hazel Dell Half Marathon 2014

The Hazel Dell Half on Sunday, February 23rd was the first event of 2014 for me. I was not prepared – I’m out of shape, didn’t train for it, don’t eat correctly, and I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately. I put the event out of my mind until Saturday, the day before, when I had to go pick up my race packet and actually face the fact that the event was the following morning.

Nanette (aka Bullseye) and I met to get our packets and then went out to lunch. She didn’t train much for it either (certainly more than I did though) but she has started going back to the gym so she was a tad bit more prepared than I was. We ate our carbs and talked about the race. We both said the time didn’t matter but to finish was our only goal.

Sunday morning I woke up really excited and ready to do the half! It felt so good to be excited about something… anything… because my life hasn’t exactly been full of joy and laughter lately. I knew I could do it (with or without training) and was excited to get back out there on the pavement and find the peace of mind I always find while walking/running.

The race started around 8:30 and it was sunny and 36 degrees out – perfect weather! The first part of the race was mostly downhill so Bullseye and I took advantage of gravity and ran our way down (Now, hold on, neither of us are fast runners so don’t visualize us in a wild blurrrrr here.). We then ran parts of the flat areas too, off and on. It was an out and back route and the turnaround was at the west end of the Salmon Creek Park path. We were making excellent time, banking up some extra time to climb those blasted hills on the way back. Around Mile 9, Bullseye continued to run and Buzz (aka Me – yours truly) could no longer do it. I simply ran out of steam which did not surprise me at all. What surprised me was that I had made it that far before burning out. I told Bullseye to go on ahead and chase after her previous record. I just didn’t have it in me to push any harder. I was tired! She went on ahead and I watched her go until I lost sight of her. Run like the wind, Bullseye!

The hills back up were everything they were not on the way down… HARD, PAINFUL and SLOW. As tired as I was, I kept telling myself to keep going – keep putting one foot in front of the other - it was as simple as that. A couple of times I had to tell myself to dig a little deeper because I was really slowing down. Even though my time did not really matter to me I certainly did not want to record my slowest personal time ever. I am not that out of shape! I kept going.

I came into the home stretch and waived to Bullseye and her family there waiting for me. I mustered up a little jog and made it through the finish line without tripping over my tired feet. I finished in 3:09:44, averaging 14:29 minute miles. Not bad at all for no training and being 40 pounds heavier! I was very pleased with my time, for pushing through the pain and for making it through that finish line without the aid of a paramedic. heh heh

After a nice lunch together and laughing at and vetoing the postings of ANY of MY pictures (I looked STUFFED into my shirt! Oh that’s right… I WAS!), I went home and showered and then headed out the door to take care of some errands. No need to plop on the couch and rest… not me!

Today my thighs are screaming loudly every time I stand up and start moving but other than that, I feel great! No blisters, no knee pain, no shin pain… just aching, screaming thighs. I’ll take it. I earned it!

I really do miss my walking/running adventures and I’m ready to sign up and get back out there!

Buzz might just be reemerging. Now only if the thinner Buzz would show up for the party!


Friday, December 20, 2013

Training

I'm about to start training again right after the New Year.  Last year was plagued with injuries, lack of training, and more injuries.  After hurting myself in June at the Vancouver Marathon, I basically QUIT.  I walked a couple short events and then the 3-Day, 60 miles event in September.  I also did two half marathons in October ... all without training.  I was definitely slow and sluggish but enjoyed them.  Although I do remember complaining a bit (okay... quite a bit!!) that I was out of shape!

Without training, a lot of my bad habits returned, I rarely went to the gym and I haven't lost any weight.  In fact, I gained. Naturally.  Hopefully by refocusing and getting back out there on the pavement, I will start watching my diet (good performance requires good nutrition!) and shed the extra pounds.

I'm not real pleased with myself. I completely lost control. I have to find it... AGAIN - the story of my life.

I don't know what my race schedule will be but I'm not doing any of them without the proper training.  I'm tired of being on the injured list.

My first event of 2014 will be the Hazel Dell Half at the end of February, which I'm really looking forward to! Training starts January 5th. Are you ready, Bullseye?!

It's time to put the injuries and lack of control - in so many areas of my life - of 2013 behind me (and I don't mean on my butt!) and get moving!

I'm not finished with my marathon days... not yet. I'm not finished with my weight loss goals... not by a long shot.

Here's to a happy, healthy and productive 2014!

----------------------------------

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving!" Albert Einstein