Twenty-one plus years down the drain... thrown out like yesterday's garbage. He is gone.
The two-year roller coaster ride has been a nightmare. The pain has nearly destroyed me - literally.
I isolated myself from friends and family so I didn't have to admit it... didn't have to talk about what was happening... desperate for things to change and for us to work it out. The isolation made me lonely. The situation severely depressed me. I thought I needed to be alone to work through it but in reality, isolating myself made things a lot harder for me.
Keeping quiet about the turmoil kept it "unreal" - allowed me to live somewhat in denial, at least in front of people. When alone, it is all too real and much too painful.
I no longer walk my marathons. I no longer go to the gym. I no longer socialize.
My marriage has failed.
As much as I don't want to, there is no other option but for me to accept it so I can get out of this deep dark hole and start living again. I've been down here much too long.
I must try to find myself... put the pieces of my shattered self back together. Talk to my friends again. Talk to my family. Start living again... I have missed living.
He is gone.
He is with another.
My marriage is over.
Now you know.
