Lengthy back update

Instead of going to Sports Medicine & Rehabilitation, my doctor sent me to a Physiatrist last week. A Physiatrist is a nerve, muscle and bone expert. Upon hearing this, I became quite interested and hopeful that someone could actually help me get past this latest back crap.

The first thing the doctor asked was what I wanted out of my visit. My answer: "Make it all go away and give me my pain free life back!".  If only...

The exam showed I have no reflexes in my right knee or ankle and no feeling at all in my right heel or big toe (I didn't realize that before the needle prick testing but it makes sense now why my blisters from the marathon didn't hurt!).  Weird. I was told I walk with one shoulder higher than the other, which I knew 20 years ago but it never seemed to matter. My lower spine is curved enough to cause a slight twist in my pelvis, causing one leg to act as if it is shorter than the other.

Doc left the room and returned with a cane - a cane so sturdy it had four feet at the bottom of it! I immediately said I wasn't going to use that THING. (I'm stubborn like that.) She had me walk with it and asked how it made me feel? "Like an old lady!" Looking past my own self-image issue, I had to admit it made me feel more stable and took pressure I didn't know I had off of the opposite leg. But no, I am not having any part of it. NO WAY. I don't need it and don't want it. I distance walk all the time and I DON'T NEED A CANE.

I ended up getting a "lift" put in my left shoe. (I was much more agreeable to using this than a flippin cane!) It actually makes me feel more... what should I say... EVEN. I had no clue being "uneven" was an issue of mine. It feels a bit weird but I think I will get used to it. It is supposed to take some pressure off of my back. I walked 6 miles this morning and it hurt my knees in the beginning but after that went away, I really think it made me walk smoother.  Amazing.

As far as the rest of it goes, there is no solution. Doc said if I didn't have a history of multiple surgeries and nerve damage issues, she would send me in for surgery immediately (no reflexes + no feelings = no good!). However, since I have all that history, surgery is the last thing they want to do. She reconfirmed that further surgery would only cause me more problems, which definitely translates to MORE PAIN and I certainly don't want or need that.

Having an epidural injection is risky too and we have decided against it at this time.  It is also invasive and could result in more pain.

The "spells" are coming back and that's my biggest fear. "Spells" are what I call the episodes of severe nerve pain in my hips and legs. It is excruciating and debilitating. It scares me to think I might be going back THERE again.

I have exercises to do to build more core strength and I'm supposed to take Yoga classes. I am going to my first class on Wednesday. I know the instructor and she wants me up front with her so she can be sure I am not hurting my back.  Up front?! In front of the whole class?! I will surely die of embarrassment! 

I am considering taking Neurontin again - as much as I don't want to do it. Doc suggests I take it to help with the nerve pain. I also want to do acupuncture again but I have a different insurance than before so it is a matter of whether or not they will cover it. Hopefully they will.

The exam and discussion took over an hour and I honestly do not think I walked out of there any better off (but maybe a little taller?! haha). I learned a few things I didn't know about my body, nerves, fusions, etc. but I gained nothing as far as a solution. Obviously there isn't one. Other than medication, there is nothing they can do that I would for sure benefit from. I can no longer "be fixed" and honestly I guess I never was. It is all about managing it now and that's a pretty damn scary situation to be in.